Home

So sometime this semester I just stopped blogging. No specific reason why, mostly I just ran out of time. I suppose I'll post a few highlights once I get home but I wanted to post one reflection before leaving Europe.

Home. I have referred to many places as such in the 21 years of my life. From my childhood house beside the parkway entrance in Fords to a suburban bilevel in South Brunswick, from a closet-like dorm room in Ewing to a spacious  apartment in Prague, from a room in a Nicaraguan family's house to a cabin in the woods of Bushkill, Pennsylvania; the word "home" has been attributed to a variety of places over the span of my life thus far-some of which I never could have imagined a few years ago. But I have come to the conclusion, as I have cycled through all of these living spaces, that home is not a place at all. 

 Homesickness is a condition of the heart. It's that nostalgic moment when you look back and say "look how happy I was back then." It's that moment when you remember the people in the room, the events that occurred in it, the memories that were made there, not the space itself. And if homesickness is a heart condition, then home too must be more than simply a place.

Home is where your family is, whether they be family by blood or family by choice. Home is the place where the best memories are made. Maybe the events are fairly insignificant: a conversation at the dinner table, a night up too late talking about nothing in particular, a random trip to a local attraction (whether it be a strange art gallery or the town Walmart)...maybe even blasting a song and singing along on the way; but home is a collection of meaningful insignificance. There is no way to tell why or how these things make a "home," but they do. 

And whether good times or bad, home is the place you are able to love and be loved freely and openly. But the most difficult thing about the term, and the most beautiful thing, at the same time, is the fact that this can happen virtually anywhere. So I have come to notice that the further and more frequently I travel, the more I expand my "family-by-choice," the more my home spreads across the globe. Today I can easily say that my home is not one place, but many. It's wherever my closest family reside. The sad part about this realization is that, no matter what I do, I'm always going to be a little bit homesick. There is always going to be someone across the world who I wish could be home with me. But the incredible part about this network of homes, of people who I care so deeply about, provides me with infinite opportunities to (if I am so blessed to be able to) continue to explore this world and still feel at home.

As of today, I am leaving behind one place I have called home. Today I begin writing a new chapter in my life. As hard as it is to turn the page, I can rest easy knowing that I am going from one home to another. 

Krakow: A Difficult Reflection of a Dark Past

Anna, James, myself, Dani, and Maddy in Krakow's Old Town Square

I am so privileged to have had the opportunity to travel to Poland this past weekend. I am so happy that my program took us to Krakow this past weekend, because I honestly don't think I would have made it there if it weren't for them taking us there.
My weekend in Krakow was valuable for so many reasons. We spent our first day there being toured around the city by an adorable women with such a cool accent (she said everything in the progressive tense, "now we are walking to the next spot,"). She was extremely knowledgeable of the history of Krakow and knew exactly what would interest us the most. We toured the Wewel Castle, the old town (with the oldest medieval market square in Europe), Kazimierz, and the Jewish Ghetto, ending at Oscar Schindler's factory. And we spent the next morning further exploring these sites, wandering through the markets, and eating some great food (I had the best perogies).

Sukiennice, the "Cloth Hall" Main Square Market dating to the Renaissance

It was so cool to be in Poland because it is culturally (and geographically) further east than the Czech Republic. Our first day in Krakow it just seemed that everything from the clouds to the buildings were gray. As the weather got nicer, it was clear that the sky wasn't always so gray. But irregardless, it was awesome to experience a new Eastern European culture and get a feel for what the east is like. I also really appreciated seeing the historical sites of Krakow first-hand because I have been learning about the history of this city in the World War II period since I was in high school. (The movie Schiendler's List was a part of my high school curriculum, so my History teacher, Mr. Cannon, in high school used the movie as a foundation to teach us about the Holocaust.)

Kazimierz Main Square

"We remember above all that the Holocaust did not start with a concentration camp. It started with a brick through the shop window of a Jewish business, the desecration of a synagogue, the shout of racist abuse on the street."

Tony Blair, Former British Prime Minister 

Last week, in order to prepare for the trip, the program had a screening of Schindler's List. Although I had seen it once before, the movie hit me much harder emotionally this time around. I don't know why it was more difficult to stomach this time around, it could be my maturity level; maybe it is because I work with kids almost every day back at home and the display of such hatred towards such innocent little people was even harder to bare when I work with so many kids; maybe I have a better understanding of social justice now that I have worked in nonprofit for a few years; maybe I'm just more open to baring the emotional pain of the darkest parts of history, more empathetic. I don't know. But it was hard to watch. Spielberg did an incredible job at portraying the painful, disgusting, completely nonsensical filth that was the Holocaust. And part of visiting Poland and living in Central/Eastern Europe is grappling with the history. It would be horrible to come here for a semester and not honor the lives of the millions murdered in this atrocious crime against humanity. So in order to fully honor those lives lost and comprehend the past, we visited Auschwitz-Birkenau.

The gate at Auschwitz I
Arbeit macht  frei- "Work makes free"

"Let us remember that we are on the site of the most gigantic cemetery in the world, a cemetery where there are no graves, no stones, but where the ashes of more than one million people lie."

Waldemar Dabrowski, Former 

Polish Culture Minister 

The day at Auschwitz was a difficult one, but a valuable one and one I will never forget. Walking freely around a camp where so many people were exterminated, literally over 1 million people systematically murdered (in gas chambers or forced labor) on the grounds that I walked, is certainly not something one forgets easily. To think that I was wandering slowly over the land where so many innocent human beings were shot or hung, died of starvation or experimented on, was an inexplicable experience. I knew upon entering Auschwitz that I didn't have to worry about being shot by an SS guard as part of his target practice, that I wouldn't be hung as an example because another prisoner escaped, that in a few hours I would be leaving through the gates I entered, a luxury that over one million people who passed through the camp never had.

It is so hard to conceptualize that these senseless murders actually happened-that people really had to endure this torture. How anyone, at any time in history, could walk into the gas chamber and believe that this death machine was not an atrocity is beyond me. But the important thing to remember is that they did. Six million Jews and a number of other victims (Roma, political prisoners, Poles...) were systematically destroyed, entire lives stolen, in the Holocaust. Our tour guided ended our tour with a quote by philosopher George Santayana, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." It is extremely important to remember what happened during the Holocaust. It is even more important to never forget those who perished at the hands of the Nazis. 

Birkenau Concentration Camp and Death Camp

Birkenau Concentration Camp and Death Camp

Genocide still exists today. Since the Holocaust we have seen millions of lives taken in the name of "racial cleansing" in many regions of the world. We must, as a human race, learn how to take these horrible mistakes of the past and actually learn from them. As we strolled back from the memorial at Birkenau, placed between the two of the destroyed gas chambers (of four at Birkenau), the sun was setting behind us. The moon was rising in front of us, and a gloomy low fog settling over us, as we walked back towards the entrance- a walk that over a million people sentenced to death at that very place were never privileged enough to make. The scene was a natural beauty, a God sent gift. For me, it was a strong juxtaposition. Humanity has the capacity to do unthinkable evils, there were thousands of people, fathers and mothers, friends and relatives, involved in the atrocity of the Holocaust; but humanity also has the capacity to love, to save lives, to give, to resist evil. I believe that humans are fundamentally good, that we are naturally flawed imperfect creatures with the capacity to do unthinkable atrocities, but that we are equally capable of doing good and that there is a universal moral code that drives us to do so. In the end, it all comes down to what we find our purpose in, where we find our truth. The Nazis found their truth in absolute power, in death, in quasi religious antisemitism, and I pray that we never allow anyone who finds their truth in such things to come to power again. But, if more people found their truth in good, in love, the world might be a different place. I believe it still can be, it will never be perfect, but it can always be better.

"It's here, where absolute evil was perpetrated, that the will must resurface for a fraternal world, a world based on respect of man and his dignity."
Simone Veil, Auschwitz survivor and former French Health Minister

New Cultures

In the past few weeks I have visited two German speaking cities: Vienna, Austria (Vein, Austria) and Munich, Germany (Munchen, Duetcheland). And while my inability to speak any German at all have made my interactions there a bit difficult, they have both been valuable experiences that have helped me to continue to evolve my perspective.

Grace and I at the Shönbrun Palace

VIENNA

A view of Staphansplatz from above

Now that it has been more than two weeks since I went to Vienna with my friend Grace (I really can't believe how fast time is going now that I have fallen into a routine.), I should probably post about a few of the highlights.

Vienna was a fun filled trip to say the very least. Our weekend was full of hilarious new cultural differences, new friends, lots of learning, and good wine and coffee in some amazing Viennese cafes.

To speak first to the cultural differences, the thing that shocked me most about Vienna upon our arrival there was the westernness of the city. Being that Vienna is only about four hours south of Prague, I had expected it to be very similar to the city I now call home. However immediately upon exiting the bus, we walked into a city that I saw to be much more modern than I had expected. The technology was as advanced as the technology I was familiar with back home and the public transportation was way different than what I was used to in Prague. I wouldn't call any of these things "superior" to Prague in any way. Prague would not be as charming, beautiful, or incredible if it were like Vienna. But, needless to say, I was surprised that their were such stark differences.

Another new cultural difference that was more difficult to navigate was the new language barrier and a new set of cultural norms to get used to. Upon our arrival at our hostel (after climbing six stairs of an apartment building to the "reception") Grace and I were greeted by a tattooed, barefooted man smoking a cigarette in the stairwell who took my reservation and said, "You come with me." He then led us into an apartment kitchen where dumplings were cooking on the phone and left, returning with a women who said "Josso..." at which point we stopped her and struggled through signing all the paperwork. (As it turned out, the hostel was actually quite nice. We had a room on the tenth floor with a beautiful view of the city. We later met Arabella, the owner, who was wonderful-and spoke perfect English. But our first impression of the place was an interesting one.) we then grabbed lunch at a cafe attached to a supermarket, which one might think would be a non-eventful experience. And it was...until we were on our way out and we came across a door with a sign depicting a little green man walking out of a door. Being that the sign was green (which generally means 'go' in my humble opinion) and there was a picture of a man walking out of a door, Grace pushed the door open. Mistake. An alarm immediately goes off in the entire grocery store. The women at the registers start yelling "Nein! Nein!" and a man runs open and pulls the door shut. So yeah, things are different in Prague. We don't even have emergency exits there; considering I was able to accidentally lock Chelsea in our apartment the first week of classes with no way for her to get out... (We also were able to effectively and accidentally fill our entire apartment with smoke while cooking dinner the other day without any alarms going off...but that's for another blog I guess.

Grace was able to capture my first impression at our hostel (note we are standing in someone's kitchen and there happens to be dinner on the stove...)

Cafe Central

Besides our variety of cultural immersion experiences, I really enjoyed Vienna for its ability to make me feel as if I went back in time to the early 1900s and to reassure me that I am still in the 21st century at the same time. Our first night we visited the Central Cafe-a cafe centuries old. The cafe was once frequented by Lenin and Trotsky, among other politicians and intellectuals. There was live piano playing as we sat and enjoyed a glass of wine, and it felt almost as if we were sitting a few tables away from the men planning the Russian Revolution in the early 1900s. The following night we sat in a cafe called Phil. In contrast with the old Viennese Cafe Central, Phil added a 21st century, modern art flair to the age old cafe tradition.

I could not even begin to describe every hysterical experience and learning experience had in Vienna. Grace and I visited the Shönbrun Palace (a massive palace with overwhelmingly large gardens), visited the Naschmarkt (not failing to get lost and "hangry" on the way), strolled in the Stadtpark (where there are statues dedicated to famous composers), saw Mozart's apartment-the one where he wrote "The Marriage of Figaro" (and learned a lot about the famous composer's life and inspirations), visited the Momok (Vienna's modern art museum, where I saw original pieces by local artists and artists from around the world-including Andy Warhol-apparently Vienna is becoming a cultural center for the modern art movement), and rode a century old gigantic Ferris Wheel, the Wiener Riesenrad.

We finally had the unique opportunity of visiting this capital city just days before a major election. We ran into demonstrations by entirely different ends of the political spectrum a few times over the weekend. It was awesome to see the way that the democratic process works in European countries, especially since I am currently studying European politics in one of my classes.

In front of the Palace

A selfie in the very old, factory like elevator in the building of our hostel

Embracing a "cultural barrier" and drinking coffee out of a bowl in the Nachmarkt because I ordered without knowing what I would get...

Overall, I am really glad that Grace suggested that we visit Vienna while many of our other friends went to Octoberfest. It was an awesome first long weekend away from Prague and a surprisingly eye opening and cultural experience. It showed me that merely four hours away, a culture can be so starkly different. It also opened my eyes to the fact that I am starting to assimilate to Czech culture in Prague (considering things like people being loud on public transport and going out of their way to talk to us in Vienna seemed shockingly unusual). But more than anything else, I appreciated the experience for the opportunity it provided me to take a minute to step back, explore, relax, and thing. As Mozart once said...

"Patience and tranquility of mind contribute more to cure our distempers as the whole art of medicine"

MUNICH

Gerard, Billy, Chelsea, and I at the top of the Rathaus Tower

Since Vienna taught me some of the major cultural differences between German speaking and Czech speaking countries(i.e.: don't exit through the door with the little green man unless the building is on fire, it's ok to talk as loud as you'd like pretty much wherever you are except inside a church, etc.), as well as the basic "yes, nos, pleases, and thank yous" of the German language, I went into my Munich trip with a bit more confidence than I did with Vienna.

Mine and Chelsea's real purpose for visting Munich was to catch up with two of our friend from TCNJ (Billy and Gerard) for their respective birthdays. I am really glad that I got to see the city. Had Munich not been a halfway point for us, I problem would never have made it there.

Memorial at Dachau commemorating the people
who died there

After a travel debacle with Billy and Gerard's train, they arrived in the morning (although they had planned to arrive about 6 hours earlier in the middle of the night, and we all traveled for a pretty heavy day to the Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial Site, about 20 minutes outside of Munich. It was a rainy, cold, gloomy day, which I found largely appropriate. Something about hearing the history of the Holocaust in such a place just makes the whole thing that much more real. Dachau was the first concentration camp opened by the Nazis in Germany and more than 32,000 people died at the camp (according to records, there were countless other undocumented deaths at the camp). One of the more chilling things that I learned from our tour guide about Dachau, which is a symbol for all of the concentration camps, is that it was not only created to work prisoners to death, but also to torture them psychologically from the moment they entered through the gates telling them "Arbeit macht frei," "work makes free," giving them the illusion that they could actually leave if they worked hard enough. The entire experience was very moving and hard to swallow. But I will post a more in depth reflection in a few days. It was a heavy day, as any day spent at such a place could be, but my experience this past weekend was far heavier (I will be posting a blog about this in a day or two).

Schloss Neuschwanstein

The following day we visited Neuschwanstein Castle. I loved our trip to the castle. It was so cool to see the snow on the mountains and the absolutely incredible of King Ludwig II of the Bavarian empire. It is one of the castles, it is said, that Walt Disney modeled his Sleeping Beauty castle ("the Disney Castle") after. It was a great contrast to our gloomy day at Dachau the day before, and even though it was very cold, it was a clear and beautiful day. My favorite part of the day was hiking down the gorge from the bridge. It was a beautiful way to see the nature and the castle from the outside. But mostly this was my ,favorite part of the day because I was able to do it. I wasn't inhibited by my knee injury and it was so awesome to be adventurous. It is so great to no longer have to worry about my knee or be restricted by it.

Me at the castle

Our last day in Munich, Billy and Gerard had to leave pretty early, so Chelsea and I got to go out and explore the city while we waited for our bus back to Prague. It was Sunday morning, and the American in me felt it would be awesome to check out the large local market before continuing to explore the city. Little did I know that, in Germany, almost EVERYTHING, from most cafés to souvenir shops, are closed Sunday. The market was completely empty. So we continued on and checked out the famous Englisher Garten, a park larger than New York's Central Park, and the site of the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Me at the site of the 1972 Munich Olympics

As cool as the city of Munich was, my favorite part of the weekend was getting to spend time with some friends from back home. It was awesome to catch up with Billy and Gerard and exchange experiences from our respective study abroad programs, from culture shock to trip highlights. It did, however, effectively remind me of some of my friends from home. The weekend was bittersweet, because while it was great to hang out with them and see them, in a lot of ways it made me miss some aspects of TCNJ.

Group picture

Either way, after both trips, I returned to Prague excited to be back in "my city" and with a new appreciation from my limited knowledge of basic Czech.

The View’s Great from Up Here on Cloud Nine

Even though classes have officially started and I am beginning to settle into a routine, I can’t help but continue to feel like this entire experience is unreal. I am truly on “cloud nine” here in Prague, and the view is great.

Grant, James, Grace, Postman, Dani, Chelsea, Rachel, Me, and Andy enjoying the view
from the Castle

Last weekend, we went to Český Krumlov (aka “Sexy Croutons,” “Crispy Croutons,” “Creaky Kremlin” and a variety of other nick names by my friends and I due to our inability to pronounce anything at all in Czech). It was the culmination of our two week UPCES orientation. The town is in the south of the Bohemia region of the country and is a beautiful medieval town and a UNESCO World Heritage site. 

Castle Tower

Český Krumlov

Although the weather was far from ideal, it seems to have been raining pretty much nonstop for the past two weeks in the Czech Republic, I thoroughly enjoy my time there. We did a lot in twenty four hours, including eating at a local brewery, exploring one of the Hapsburg’s castles, and climbing to the top of the castle tower—I won’t let a knee injury keep me down! The view from the castle tower was breathtaking. It felt so good to be able to climb up and to have that experience, considering I had thought that my knee injury would be holding me back a bit.

The View from the Castle Tower

Me at the Castle

One of my favorite parts of the entire weekend was getting to know our new Czech friends who came on the trip with us  Ondřej and Adela. While they were not in the same tour group as us, we had lunch and went out together at night. We spent the night talking about everything from differences in our everyday lives, to our schooling and personal values and beliefs. It was great to get to know both of them and I am looking forward to hanging out with them more over my next few months in Prague. 

Grant, James, Grace, Me, and Dani at Dinner in Český Krumlov before meeting up
 Ondřej and Adela

While the town of Cesky Krumlov was incredible, the thing that surprised me the most was how much I enjoyed the bus ride there. The views looking out the window of the country roads of the Czech Republic were breathtaking and pictures do them no justice. It is nice to know that, going forward, bus rides to faraway places will not only be a time to reenergize, but to also see a part of the country I would not see otherwise.

The Countryside of Southern Bohemia

Like I mentioned earlier, classes started this week. On Tuesday I have my first session of Comprehending the Holocaust (which as my professor pointed out is an unfortunate name for the class, considering the incomprehensible nature of mass murder—he suggested that “Comprehending the Holocaust?” might be a more suitable name). The class was quite heavy (as most all of them will be, I presume), and I needed some time to chill after before heading back to my apartment. So after a necessary trip to Tesco (a large convenience and food store in the center of the city, just a few blocks from school—I needed a travel coffee mug for the mornings), I decided I would experience the freedom of having my knee brace off and take the long stroll home instead of taking a tram. The timing of the walk was truly perfect because it happened to be about 17:00 (5:00 PM if you’re speaking American) when I left Tesco, so by the time I reached the bridge that crosses over the Vlatava to get to my neighborhood of Prague, the sun was just starting to set. With no real urgency or destination, I stopped for a bit to take it all in. The bridge offers incredible views of the entire city, and while, like every good view, a photo never does it justice, I took a snapshot to capture the moment. This is my home for the next three months. After so many plans, and so many worries, and so many thoughts, I am actually here. Living the dream I have had of studying abroad literally since I was a small child (yes—I was the type of kid who thought about these kinds of things as a small child).

The street that my tram stop is on

A beautiful sunset over the Vlatava

Sometimes all it takes is a nice walk and some great views to put you right back up on cloud nine.

Wait...I Live in Prague?

It is really so hard to believe that I have actually moved into my apartment in Prague and I will be living here for the next three months. Time has flown in a complete whirlwind for the past two weeks. But, even though in some ways it feels like I stepped off of the plane wide eyed (well...as wide as jet lagged eyes can be) just yesterday, in other ways I feel like I have been here for months.

A view of Prague from Pražský hrad ("Prague Castle"

Playing the "Haha Game"Dani introduced to us in Letna Park 

The city, for one, is even more beautiful than the pictures make it seem. There are parts of the city like Old Town Square and the Jewish Quarter that, despite the large number of tourists, seem to take you back hundreds of years. And there are other parts of town that have all the perks and characteristics of the most modern of cities. My neighborhood, Letna/Holešovice is just across the Vlatava River from the popular tourist sites and sits between two of the largest parks in Prague, Letna (which means "summer" in Czech) Park and Stromovka Park. Although the weather has been less than perfect, I'm sure I will be enjoying the luxury of living by these places while it is still relatively warm outside. Last weekend, I spent some time exploring Letna Park shortly after moving from the hotel I was staying in to my apartment. The park is really cool and has some sweet views of the city (since it's across the Vlatava) from "the metronome," and a beer garden.

The Metronome is an area in the park where a statue of Lenin used to be during the reign of USSR. After it's fall, the statue was replaced with this metronome. The area is now popular with young people hanging out and skating.

Chelsea, Grace, Dani, Grant, Postman, and I taking some typical tourist selfies at the metronome

We started intensive Czech this past week and I will be starting my regular class schedule tomorrow. It was nice to have the first two weeks to settle in and explore (we also visited another town, which I will talk about in my next blog post). And while I would usually dread the start of classes, I am actually really looking forward to this semester's course load. I am taking Elementary Czech Language, European Integration (a political science course about the European Union), Comprehending the Holocaust, The Rise and Fall of Communism in Central Europe, and Prague as a Living History (a class which is pretty much a walking tour of the city). They all are very pertinent to the city that I live in and it will be awesome to be able to understand some more of the story behind Prague.   

Trying out some good Czech beer

Grant, Grace, Chelsea, Postman, Dani, and I having an artsy photo shoot after taking a random tram to the end and ending up in Prague 6

Me, Anna, Maddy, and Kelsey on the boat tour on the Vlatava

Czech Republic Flags

TCNJ Lions in Prague Cathedral?

             

Found some interpretative dancers outside of my apartment... 

"Leaving My Mark" on the Lennon Wall (shout out Bonner Scholars!!!)

Obligatory Study Abroad Group Photo at Prague Castle

And of course I'm having a great time! This is me dancing over my friends apartment the other night